i'm almost half way through this project and while it has been so fun, it has also been super challenging. i mostly create these cards at night when my energy and motivation seems to be highest, but there have been a handful of nights when i've just wanted to stop. to take a day off. to give up.
today was one of those days/nights. i had an idea for a card and so i got started. i knew the process was going to take a little while because i had to wait for a medium to dry, so while it did that i worked on other elements.
i had a plan. or so i thought.
when i finished the second part of the plan [which included embellishing and using a technique on the part that had to dry] i quickly discovered my plan was not going to work.
so i tried to adapt and change the plan. it still didn't work. i sat and stared at a desk full of bits and pieces that were intended to create four cards and i didn't even have the correct amount of things to make one card with my original vision.
but i also don't like to give up.
earlier today i pulled out some alcohol inks to try and create some backgrounds for upcoming cards. they also didn't turn out the way that i had planned. [maybe it's just today in general, who knows.] however, out of the 12 that i made, one stuck out to me as being potentially usable. maybe. sort of.
i used one of the die-cuts from my original plan and layered it on top of the alcohol-inked background. kinda plain, not loving it. so i added in a smattering of teeny tiny silver star sequins. still not loving it. i've had in my head that things need to be on a diagonal to feel like they're "flowing" across the card and i'm hating everything that i try and do with that motion. [tomorrow i'm back to a sketch and a color swatch, i think i need less options to overanalyze.]
needless to say, the card for today is complete. it's a one of a kind both because i only have one background and because i didn't have the energy to create more than one. i don't love it. but that's okay. i'm reminding myself that sometimes the process is part of the solution and maybe i'm learning to be flexible, who knows.
[side note - i have an app that provides me with a daily mantra that i've really been enjoying and i just think it's kind of hilarious that this is today's mantra: "i let go of any self-sabotage that holds me back from living my life to its greatest potential." the entire time this card wasn't working i was bashing myself and being my own worst critic and then i remembered the mantra - and decided to stop. tomorrow will be a new day with limitless creative potential. and a new mantra.]
i do want to thank jon - he continues to [gently] push me to keep going, while encouraging me & my creativity - as well as supporting the gazillion packages that keep arriving with new supplies. i'm definitely lucky and he's definitely so awesome.